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Astro Beat

Horoscopes— Happy belated Gregorian Calendar New Year, decan cuspies

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Your beloved star gazer returns after a holiday travel break from her biweekly horoscopes and short new year regeneration period. Alright, astrological laymen, first and foremost merry belated Christmas, X-Mas, Christ Mass, Happy Holly-Daze or whatever seasonal title you prefer! And of course, a happy Gregorian calender new year!

A little light to shed on the miracle of Jesus in this time of the year; there are some very interesting connections between the Bible and astrology.

Suppose that the three kings or wise men who bestowed gifts unto the Son of God were quite possibly astrologers themselves. They were nice guys who certainly knew how to come bearing gifts; after all, what new parents wouldn't appreciate some Myrrh or Frankincense to help with cloth diaper changing? I know I would. Besides, if a baby savior's **** stank, who would believe he was the savior, at all?

Those wise men were indeed, very wise. I would get into the three wise men actually being called so after the stars and not necessarily people, (the ones we know as Orion's belt a.k.a. the three kings) and how they follow Sirius, (a.k.a. the Eastern Star) in the sky... But will spare you farther celestial details of the famous Christmas story, mirrored in space such as the interesting coincidence of the twelve signs being akin to each of the twelve apostles.

Come Friday we should all be feeling a little unconsciously driven, as if our thoughts and feelings are led by an invisible horse. For most of us, tempers will be in check despite heavy karmic shifts or activities but remember, though speech is silver, silence is golden. Unusual comments will be tolerated more than usual, despite the warning to generally keep it shut. The Sun is now in Capricorn, so happy birthday Cappies! All retrogrades have temporarily lifted, Venus is doin' good things with Jupiter and Uranus, and a bunch of other stuff that means virtually nothing to most readers! Your horoscope may illuminate the scenario in a more comprehensible way.

DISCLAIMER: A general Sun sign horoscope can only shed so much light, due to its interdependence with the other planets. Check our your ascendant or rising sign and/or moon sign, if you're aware of what they are. Those born at night, pay special attention to their Moon signs.

Today, I'd also like to introduce you all to a new astrological concept called 'decans' or 'decantes.' Each sign is divided into three sections of 10 degrees, meaning there are thirty degrees to any sign. This is why a 'cusp' sign as people perceive them, doesn't, in a way, exist.

Your Sun sign (the one we all know) either falls under one or the other, being 30 degrees Aries, let's say or 0 degrees Taurus; there is no in between. It seems likely in the vast majority of astrology charts that something else will be largely affected by the other sign you sit on the cusp of, so let's say you're a Leo/Virgo "cusp," though your Sun sign is definitely Leo, your Moon sign or Venus and  Mercury may all be in Virgo, causing both signs to leave their marks in different ways. Back to the concept of a decan, there are let's say, Aquarius 1's, 2's and 3's or Scorpio 1's, 2's and 3's, for every sign three very distinct imprints. This week's horoscopes will be cast with the decans of the ruling planets and where they sit kept firmly in mind.

Right now the Sun sits in the eighteenth degree of Capricorn, placing it in the second decan of the sign, soon to be the third. The second and third decans fall under the influence of the planets Venus and Mercury. So, at the moment we've been seeing themes in the general air of things pertaining to hard work, frivolousness and penny-pinching (fitting that we move into Capricorn right after the holiday season) ambition and seriousness but influenced by the second decan and Venus, this atmosphere lightens, whereas when ruled by Saturn in the first decan, life gets very much so to the point.

So, we can see the veil of seriousness lifting to a more affectionate and aesthetically pleasing stage, where as in the next few days, the third decan puts focus on these influences (hard work, ambition, frivolousness, seriousness, respect and determination) through communication and perfectionism until late January.

Remember people, DISCLAIMER: Find our your Moon and Rising signs! The Moon, especially so if you were born at night! This will ensure a more accurate horoscope.

Aries: March 21- 23 to April 20-23

Your ruling planet, Mars is in Capricorn at the moment by a whopping 24 degrees  though by next Sunday it breaks into the etheric waves of 0 degrees Aquarius, temporarily putting out its proverbial fire. As far as Capricorn goes, the last decan is a positive one though at times there is a tendency towards too much frugality and possession. By next Sunday the grip on your personal stock should be loosened but not by much. There is a sense of hanging onto things now, clinging if you will, changing to a sense of "HAHA! I won!!" although no one will be applauding your victory; However, the move from Capricorn to Aquarius does lighten your general mood.

Taurus: April 21- 23 to May 20-23

Your ruling planet, Venus is one 1 degree Sagittarius at the moment, heading up to nine degrees by Sunday. This means that we see your sign vacationing in the same climate for the next week... You may be feeling slightly assaulted and kept out in the cold as far as communications go.

Does someone or do several people appear to be ganging up on you? Regardless of weather or not this is the case, a sense of being overwhelmed settles over your mind and feelings this week and I see it coming as people not casting stones... But throwing sticks. Duck! Or gets your own stick and be real good at fending off eight other ones at one time. What soothes your soul are the fine comforts of life as you are incredibly persistent and level-headed, in general, enjoying much of the creature comforts of home. Beautifying things will also put you at ease such as reordering and redecorating, more than some others.

May 21-23 to June 20-23

Your ruling planet Mercury is 24 degrees into Sagittarius heading for Capricorn and four degrees into it, by Sunday. This places Mercury in the last decante or decan of Sagittarius and the first of Capricorn. You're feeling much like you're turning from being an ox goad yourself, to more of a juggler. At first, this week you're feeling overburdened as if there may be too much of a load to bear but no worries, by later on in the week, you're successfully transmuting your frame of mind. Balancing your issues properly is key.


Sea Goat's Gruff — Horoscopes for Friday, Dec. 3 to Friday, Dec. 10, 2010

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We see the moon move through a few signs this week, as per usual, showing the different external effects our subconscious takes on apart from itself as it moves from Scorpio to a much more light-hearted Aquarius by Friday, helping internal processes smooth out by the end of the week. Mars moves into Capricorn by Tuesday making for some temperamental bumps in the road.

Mercury made the same transition a few days ago, showing a more serious trend in conversations and communications than weeks past which will soften come next Friday, for the vast majority of people.

Capricorn is pretty active, taking care of business lately. The weird sea-goat of an archetypal influence makes an appearance that nearly every one will feel, whether they know it or not.
DISCLAIMER: A general Sun sign horoscope can only shed so much light due to its interdependence with the other planets. Check our your ascendant or rising sign and/or moon sign, if you're aware of what they are. Those born at night, pay special to their Moon signs.

March 21 - 23rd to April 20 - 23

Internalizing things at the moment may be self-defeating. Some would argue that internalizing seems much like repression which is bad at any time but that's not necessarily true for at times, biting ones tongue can be beneficial. At this time, don't talk overmuch but be sure not to go about things by internalizing needlessly.
If you know you're doing so - Stop it and turn around.


April 21 - 23 to May 20 - May 23
Venus, your planet, moving back into Scorpio from its brief foray in Libra, a sign much more friendly to the planet, sees you feeling uptight once more in the area of loving oneself and others. Self-reflection might be a bit of a pain at the moment so just watch in the week for being a little cold shouldered, despite an evident sense of humor. It's not a remedy for the coldness, just a band-aid.

May 21-23 to June 20- 23
Mercury moved into Capricorn a few days ago, which for you Gemini, spells out seriousness in work and talk. You're taking the world around you on with a hard head and a stubborn need to succeed. You've got the ability to smile, though there is some detachment from feeling; Nothing too estranged from your norm.


June 21-23 to July 20 - 23
Latent talents or abilities may be able to sprout from seed this weekend, if you're dilligent. For the most part, you'll be seeing more noticeable effects on your temper come Tuesday when Mars rolls into Capricorn, your opposite sign.


Stars predict wonderful things afoot this week

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Auspicious days, auspicious afternoons and auspicious evenings approach. After many delays, the fates have now set their sights on your esteemed astrologer for this task, once more.
Observing the heavens this week, in the celestial podcast from beyond, quite a few wonderful events are springing up like daisies, despite the snow. Venus and Jupiter, the "good" planets, end their retrogrades, stationing direct the very same day, there will be a full moon in Taurus on Saturday night, Mercury conjuncts Mars and the Sun leaves Scorpio and says hello to Sagittarius. For all those born under the sign Scorpio, remaining Happy Birthdays are due today before all of us are done receiving them tomorrow.
The full moon in Taurus highlights amicable gettings along, a mellow exterior and a leftist stubbornness about the air today and tomorrow that is unshakable and most likely, for the general good weather we want to see that part of it or not. Certain issues come to a roaring climax, but once they reach their apex, the waning noticably ensues for most as we begin to coast downward.
Jupiter, regarding expansion, has been set on contracting inward, facing the personal microcosm, as opposed to its usual expanding, outward and macrocosmic concerns. Many will see their bigger picture viewing lenses, having been fogged up for some time, are now coming clean again.
Venus has been, as I put it "on her retrograde" for nearly a month and a half. For most human women a phenomenon remarkably similar to this only lasts one week out of the month, so we get used to its pattern and frequency. For Venus, a planet virtually embodying the female, it comes much more seldom, building up more and can be the pinnacle of unruliness, especially when Venus is on her retrograde in Scorpio. But all that unpleasantness is now over and as if impregnated with a new sense of what will be more lasting joy, Venus goes on about her merry way, tossing flowers out again around her.

Mercury and Mars conjoining Saturday afternoon amplifies things getting done with hastily and good communication. These two planets are not necessarily for or against one and other but when they pair up, chaos ensues... Kind of like when two intelligent and creative punk rockers meet up with spray paint cans: Things get written on the wall that may either offend or inspire. Either way, whatever tag is left, it's sure to boil over the blood in someone, some way.

DISCLAIMER: A general Sun sign horoscope can only shed so much light, due to its interdependence with the other planets. Check our your ascendant or rising sign and/or moon sign, if you're aware of what they are. Those born at night, pay special
attention to their Moon signs.

Aries - Astro Thunder Cat
March 21-23 to April 20-23
Your closest planetary relative, Mars in his conjunction with Mercury, has you moving fast in accomplishing your daily dues. Use the energies of the conjunct planets to accomplish things of all sorts that have slipped off of your 'to do' list lately but especially where social networking of any important kind is concerned. Either way, you should be moving like lightning. I normally reserve this comment for Geminis but it would also do you well to watch your tongue and your temper in the coming days; Come Thursday, you won't be so inclined. The Sun also leaves Scorpio, co-ruled by Mars and enters Sagittarius which makes you feel as if something internally is settling, if creating more questions to come.

Taurus - Bid Adieu to the Foo
April 21-23 to April 20- May 23
Saturday night should be "bangarang" for you which is slang for awesome unless your chart has some very un-Tauran influences in it that surmount your Sun sign’s influences. Venus going direct is better for you than others and can mean the organizing of things around you and a catching up on overdue works in progress. She and Jupiter also speak of your general sense of well being coming back into focus for a bit, allowing you to bid adieu to a restlessness that ha been plaguing you for over a month. The blossoming you'll be seeing as a result will be like a welcome spring cleaning of the soul, before the winter months and their issues hit.

Gemini - White Rabbit

May 21 -23 to June 20-23
The Moon enters your sign for Sunday, so this day should be auspicious and either eventful or successful; either way it should be peaceful. And God knows that the Gemini mind has trouble finding peace through all its internal chatter which, thanks to Mercury and Mars can be put to good use this week, in bounding around from place to place like a white rabbit in a vest with a nice watch, who needn't fear his own tardiness.

11:11 Horoscopes - New Age Hippie Portal Gateway Potluck Fun Time, For Nov. 4 - Nov. 11, 2010

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Firstly, I must facetiously apologize for my tongue in cheek title about New Age hippies, for many of this creed are proud friends of mine and often, I am mistaken for one, myself. Very fittingly, the Moon will be in Aquarius for the big day of Nov. 11, 2010 which is a sign of humanitarian ideals and wacky or weird thinking, like eating organic.

Secondly, Nov. 11, 2010 is coming up, a part of a three digit numerological cycle we've been seeing since Jan. 1, 2001 which will cease and desist in 2013, seeing as there is no 13th month. A 13th month in the calender (or a 13th floor in apartment buildings and hotels, for that matter) would make much more sense, as we would never be bothered with the peskiness of a leap year, ever, though that sort of pagan riff raff has no place in today's logical, empirical society, but I digress.

Some would venture to say that the 'energys' of this day are significantly more than other days, if one indeed has "Eyes to See." These are special X-Ray eyes that very few folks possess which are not on sale at Wal-Mart, so sorry, you can't get some. Let's see, through my astrologically semi-educated filter-inos, what kind of insight we can muster up, shall we?

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to be a good astrologer and a real one who will tell you straight up that a general Sun sign horoscope can only shed so much light, due to its interdependence with the other planets.

This is why horoscopes sometimes seem so general and other times seem accurate  enough. Check our your ascendant or rising sign and/or moon sign if you're aware of what they are.



21th - 23rd March - 20th - 23rd April
Look for expansion in times to come but not necessarily where creativity is concerned, Aries. The cause and effect metaphysical changes spurring this insight is mostly indifferent to you but all in all applies to everyone. Friday through Sunday, though not at their fullest, your energies will be highest for the week, so take advantage of it.

Philosophically speaking, you can take advantage of Mars in Sagittarius by perfecting your art, communication or urges to begin any bloody brawls in times to come, by examining your own motives with more clarity at this time.


21st - 23rd April - 20th - 23rd May
Venus, your ruling planet, has been on her retrograde lately in Scorpio which is as akin to a planet P.M.S.'ing as you're going to get. Thankfully, she moves into Libra though still on her retrograde as this cycle comes toward an end, which still isn't for a little bit.


Happy Hallowe’en horrorscopes from Iris E

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Hello and welcome to L.A. Beat's most recent addition, Astro Beat. I will be your resident astrologer, Miss. Iris E. and I will be articulately illustrating the metaphysical motions of our little slice of the universe for you, weekly.

Here in Astro Beat, you'll learn about the hidden natures of celestial spheres floating in our solar system which act much like a clock or more aptly, the gears within an old pocket watch; Take any of them away and our little time telling tool becomes defunct. Each planet, the Sun and even our moon plays an integral role in things being — well, exactly as they are, have been and will continue to be.

Keeping in step with the cosmic conga line extending all the way from macrocosm to microcosm, mamboing in metaphor, we will find the beatific maraca-shaking astrologers of the world.

We dance with, and observe, the movements and rhythms of heavenly bodies in ways that most never learned or have forgotten how. I am here to get your divine mind moving and shaking, to add the antiseptic to your skeptic and also to enliven and amuse you in an attempt to teach this ancient art to break dance.

Hallowe'en is almost here and the veil is thin during devil's night and the eve' of the dead: The perfect spooky, kooky time of year to get cheekily esoteric on your collective asses.

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to be a good astrologer and a real one who will tell you straight up that a general Sun sign horoscope can only shed so much light, due to its interdependence with the other planets; This is why horoscopes sometimes seem so general and other times seem accurate enough. Check our your ascendant or rising sign and/or moon sign if you're aware of what they are.

Sinister Hallowe'en Horror-scopes

For Oct. 27 - Nov. 3,2010

The Sun recently left the quaint cottage of a kinder, balanced, more light-hearted Libra  for the less optimistic, but more realistic, stone walled domain of Scorpio, followed  by his three closet planetary buddies, Mars,  Venus and Mercury.

Venus also recently went retrograde in  Scorpio, Lethbridgians which essentially means that love and themes concerning it, are going to be (a) difficult (expletive that rhymes with witch) for the next few weeks. To expand on this concept, this includes the love of self and love for  others, where we face our motives concerning love and self-reflection,  our jealousies, callouses, mean-streaks and we top it all off with a  sense of twisted, passionate sensuality toward the re-discovery  and transformation of the self, concerning others. This will come out ins the way we speak and communications between people may generally be sharper and  more to the point than usual, to be taken with a grain of salt.

As well, there will be a take no prisoners attitude between colleagues and friends alike, leaving this period a little more difficult to work through for some than others and by work through, I mean coming out having learned something valuable and not simply having been stung by the scorpions stinger or more likely, having stung those you care about.

Aries - First Born Freak
21th - 23rd March - 20th - 23rd April

For those born under the sign of Mars ruled Aries, he makes a deal with Sagittarius on Friday, for your information. If Mars had have stayed put in Scorpio, where he's been since half-way through September, your Hallowe'en weekend would have seen much more bloodshed. Now, is the bloodshed a bad thing?

Not when you're being attacked by an army of deformed freaks with baseball balls. The past week should have seen some relevance to this metaphor and if not, you're obviously not looking hard enough.

With this exchange between Mars and Sagittarius having taken place, Mars (and therefore an aspect of you) is brought to happier, more ethical and perhaps even philosophical decision making policies than the joyous bloodlust of weeks past.

You've been spontaneous lately and almost prefer it that way but this will have to take heed to the aforementioned policy. Either way, the Moon spends its weekend in Leo, adding some pizazz and flare to the air, promising that it won't be wet blanket-ethical... Just, not allowing oneself to climb city hall all the way to the top, dressed like King Kong with a Barbie doll in hand, ethical.

Mysterious Memo: Aim your new found bow and fire your arrow straight into the centre of the target.

Taurus - Killer Scorpion Stings Cow

21st - 23rd April - 20th - 23rd May

With so incredibly many planets in Scorpio at the moment and your ruling planet, the lovely miss Venus being one of those, also on her retrograde, times for you may be a little tough.

Your Hallowe'en may be a disappointment unless of course you turn things around by somehow getting frightfully frisky. If getting frightfully frisky with someone or something isn't an option, then you're mostly screwed. Or maybe not so much when you think about it. Whatever you do, try not to take those you've loved the most for longest for granted; word to the wise. This whole Venus lady going crazy thing causes a time of reflecting seriously, if you're smart, on your closest relationship(s) or lack thereof without getting too hard on yourself or on others which isn't such a scary thing. Or is it?

Mysterious Memo: It all depends on what you consider to be a good or a bad thing.

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